The Mind's Eclipse
by darkmark111
Summary: About the night Harry slowly drives himself to insanity. Songfic to Pink Floyd's 'Comfortably Numb'.


The Mind's Eclipse

It was the evening. The time for a swift kill, the time for the light to die and the prowling darkness to rise above the land with a graceful, all-consuming power. The head-splitting irony of Harry Potter's life was swiftly receding. The sunlight was fading fast and it was satisfying. It felt like a pinprick to him because he was very numb, but it was there and probably much more potent to anyone else suffering from the same affliction as he.

Hello.  
Is there anybody in there?  
Just nod if you can hear me.  
Is there anyone home?

The Dursley's were gone, he did not know where and it didn't matter. They had never met him at King's Cross. He had walked back to Privet Drive with the look of a lost man on his face, slowly realizing this was how life would be for him, and his fame no longer mattered. The car was still in the driveway, but the lights were out. He took out the window with a simple charm (as he was of age now) and crawled inside.

Come on, now.  
I hear you're feeling down.  
Well I can ease your pain,  
Get you on your feet again.

The house was vacant save for one piece of horribly disfigured furniture and a nightgown lying in shreds on the scuffed linoleum. Everything was gone. The house was like a cave, huge, empty, and with a heavy solemn feeling about it. A draft was coming in through the window, and the usually pleasant summer breeze seemed so foreboding. He shivered in the seventy-degree night and suddenly felt the tiniest prick of fear. In all reality, it was not small. Perhaps it felt that way because fear was like a second nature to Harry.

Relax.  
I need some information first.  
Just the basic facts:  
Can you show me where it hurts?

Quietly, he walked through the shell of a home. Ghosts of emotions seemed to seep through the walls and through Harry's skin. He felt quite insane as these ghosts echoed off his skull and radiated through his body. He shivered again and nearly vomited.

There is no pain, you are receding.  
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.  
You are only coming through in waves.  
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'.

He ran through the house, blinded by salty sweat, his glasses fogged. He wiped off his glasses quickly and leapt out the window. He landed on the soft earth and was suddenly very grateful. He sat with his head on the ground and his legs folded under him for quite a while before he looked up.

When I was a child I had a fever.  
My hands felt just like two balloons.  
Now I got that feeling once again.  
I can't explain, you would not understand.

This is not how I am.  
I have become comfortably numb.

Harry played with his ear, twisting it between his fingers as a kind of a comfort. The night was still young, though the moon was round and full and high in the star-spangled blanket of night. He could feel the bitter inhospitality in the air and it made him uneasy. Harry looked over his shoulder as his heart beat increased and pounded against his chest with a kind of mechanical rhythm. It filled the night with a diluted trepidation.

Ok.  
Just a little pinprick.  
There'll be no more aaaaaahhhhh  
But you may feel a little sick.

The night was a dementor, sucking out his emotions and leaving him with an intoxicating depression. Tears mingled with sweat on his ruddy cheeks. He reached for Hermione or Ron as if they were beside him, but his hands only grasped air. He looked at it confusedly, as if he had really expected them to be there. He gaped at the vacant space on the brown lawn. He was now only scared of himself.

Can you stand up?  
I do believe it's working. good.  
That'll keep you going for the show.  
Come on it's time to go.

He got up and, ignoring his aching side, dashed to the end of the street. A large barrier, a wall miles high, prevented him from going any further.

_Was that there before?_ He thought urgently, willing his memory to extend an immediate answer. None came. This drove him to a further madness, and he tore down the street in the other direction, only to meet a second barrier.

"What's going on?" he screamed. _Have I gone mad?_ The words reverberated horribly in his head.

There is no pain, you are receding.  
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.  
You are only coming through in waves.  
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'.

Suddenly, a voice from somewhere else whispered in his hear. He looked for a body, but none was visible. He swallowed as his legs froze in place.

"You are trapped in your own mind, Harry," it hissed. "And you are blocking yourself from the rest of your memories. It is your memories that will keep you alive, boy. Fear is what is making them recede. Fear will be the death of you when you cannot remember a thing."

"This doesn't make any sense!" Harry screamed, sobbing and wailing. It was all muddled to him.

When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,  
Out of the corner of my eye.  
I turned to look but it was gone.  
I cannot put my finger on it now.

He saw a bout of movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned around. Suddenly the walls were much closer together than they had been. They left only about a six foot berth between Harry and themselves.

He clutched his hair and closed his eyes. Behind him, he heard shuffling in the gravel. His muscles clenched and the fear seemed to be a tangible force, pushing him to turn around and stare at whatever was crouched behind him.

It was a black creature with horns atop its pointed head. Its body looked to be covered in tar. It had no genitalia. The most unnerving thing was that it grinning, like a Cheshire cat. The row of bright white teeth alarmed Harry and caused him to cry out to the night.

The walls were closer now, and the creature was behind him, running a two-inch-long nail down the nape of his neck. He whipped around to hit it, but no one was there. He suddenly reached for his wand, but it had fallen from his pants. He spotted it in the corner. Harry ran to it, but it too had disappeared all of a sudden.

Harry was trapped between the two walls now with no room to move. He couldn't think. His mind was like a blank slate. He didn't feel anything.

That was how it ended.

The child is grown, the dream is gone.  
I have become comfortably numb.


End file.
